Jeff Bezos Will Help Put the First Woman on the Moon While Also Still Being Super Evil

We all know Jeff Bezos underpays his employees and has a general disregard for human suffering, but did you know he’s also trying to put a woman on the moon? Turns out in between raising the prices on basic household needs during the COVID-19 crisis, Bezos’s space company, Blue Origin, has vowed to have the first space shuttle to take a woman to the moon. What a cool guy!

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Man I love that guy, he’s so cool and down to earth, and doesn’t at all make his employees afraid to go to the bathroom while working. It’s so awesome that he’s gonna do this. I’m not even going to remember the name of the broad he sends up there, but I love Amazon!” Of course Jeff won’t remember her name either, he’ll be too busy destroying the middle class and diving head first into a pile of money! Scrooge McDuck yeah!

It’s only a matter of time until we’re able to order moon rocks on Amazon with prime delivery! Our pal Jeff will be sure to pay some unqualified Primestranaut to go up there and bring ‘em back down to your apartment in two days!