CDC Says Vaccinated People no Longer Need to Wear Masks, but you Will Look Like a Jerk

Well everybody grest news! According to the Center for Disease Control, once you’ve got your COVID-19 vaccine you can feel free to head on outside with no mask. Don’t even worry about that deadly disease because you’re all good now. There is one slight caviat and thst is the fact that all your friends will think you’re a giant asshole.

You see although it’s great that you did the smart thing and got your shots, but a whole bunch of people didn’t. In fact, now with this new report from the CDC, these people can now pretend they’ve gotten the very same vaccine they swore to never get. I know what you’re thinking, “So should I just keep wearing a mask?” Probably! But who knows you know?

But wait, if I keep wearing a mask will people then think I’m not vaccinated? Maybe! Are there more important things to worry about? Yes, but let’s keep talking about this. We here at the Trash Wagon recommend staying away from trucker hats and large pick up trucks with lots of salt life decals. Just try to really embody the stereotype of someone who would be vaccinated, just not by Johnson and Johnson.