What’s up with everybody trying to get me to buy diamonds?

So like a while ago I heard this advertisement for Heltzberg Diamonds trying to get me to buy diamonds for Christmas I guess and it’s just like…. Hey! What the hell man? Who do you think I am? I can’t even afford to buy new plates. I was eating on chipped plates for months. Then I finally bought new plates and I’m still using those chipped plates. And You want me to buy a diamond.

Then they Chiefs quaterback Patrick Mahomes come on and be like “I love heltzberg diamonds, diamonds are my go to gift” Yo Really Patty Mahomes? Your go to gift is a GD diamond? You’re just winning super bowls and buying diamonds huh? MUST BE NICE. You know the last time I bought a diamond? Hasn’t been since my last super bowl win let me tell you.

Spoiler Alert: I didn’t buy a diamond. Frankly I haven’t thought about buying one lately either, what with the ‘Rona and all. But if you buy a diamond let me know how it is, and maybe I’ll listen to you tell me while eating a sandwich on an unchipped plate.